This is a little different of a post here on Salvage Sister & Mister, however we felt it was an important message. Our mission is to salvage time, money, resource, and moments for your best life. Part of your best moments in life, is accepting who you are.
Did you ever wish you could have communicated, to your family, something about yourself and have someone really get it?
- Some people want their family to stop pushing them to be a lawyer when all they want to be is an artist.
- For another, it may be for a parent to know a teacher crushed their spirit.
- And for someone else, it might be to know that they have always felt left out during family gatherings.
In the movies, when faced with this situation, the parents don’t get it until right at the end. Suddenly, there is a lightbulb moment and they see the light. All taking place in an hour and a half.
The reality, of course, is very different.
The one thing I would have wanted my family to know, while I was growing up, is that I’m sensitive!!!
Don’t get me wrong. I love my family.
I had two parents, one of which I was very close to, and I felt got me (My momma, the only other female in the house).
I have four older brothers. The oldest is 13 years older and the youngest 7 years older than I.
Due to the age gap, and different chromosomes, we saw life pretty differently.
On top of that, I would say our up bringing consisted a lot of the pull yourself up by your boot straps philosophy.
So what happens when a girl cries? STOP IT!
I can literally remember a full conversation, person that came over to tell me to stop crying, and what room I was in. I had no idea how to stop. I was saying……
HEAR ME! REALLY HEAR ME! STOP SCOLDING ME FOR CRYING!
Now I am fully aware that I used it to get my way on more than one occasion. NO DOUBT! For the most part, I just remember being deeply sad, to the point I am tearing up as I type this. I was frustrated that people thought I was using my emotions to get my way (manipulation). I longed to be understood and comforted. I wanted to know it’s okay to be me!
Fast forward many years later, I have improved my self esteem. I have a very understanding husband. I am way more comfortable in my own skin.
I am not quite as sensitive as I once was…………………..
BUT I AM:
- The parent who drops their kid off at kindergarten and barely able to make it to the car, let alone drive, through the tears.
- The wife who has taken something the wrong way that wasn’t intended to be mean.
- The aunt who weeps at her niece’s wedding and walks alone for a few minutes to pull myself together.
- The daughter who still misses her Mom even though she has been gone more years than I had her.
- The sister that goes to see her brother in a miserable situation and can barely breathe after leaving.
- The parent that sheds tears for her emotional needs son when the school isn’t giving him what he needs.
Recently, I discussed some of my emotions regarding our oldest son going away to college.
Most people feel for the situation and give sympathy.
There are a few responses that teeter on the “STOP IT”, you’ll be fine response.
I know I will be fine!
I know it will be good for him!
To everything there is a season.
I will not grieve long.
I will not go into a depression.
I will not stop him from going.
BUT, MAKE NO MISTAKE, I AM GOING TO CRY!
I am going to grieve the loss of seeing his amazing face everyday.
I am going to miss having long conversations at the table.
I will miss him eating boxes and boxes of cereal each week.
I will be sad that I can’t see his eye rolls when I throw down my slang talk.
This is who I am.
And you know what?
When a person asks me to pray for them, or I see an online request to pray for someone, I do.
I feel deeply and care deeply.
I love my friends and family to the very core of my being. Please don’t mess with them cause I am a momma bear through and through!
I am okay knowing I will always have a deep heart just like my momma. This is the way God made me!
I remember going to pick up our oldest son the first time he went to a week of summer camp. I was so happy to see him and missed him so much that I wept. Our friends were picking up their son and daughter, who was a counselor, at the same time. The daughter asked her mom why she didn’t cry when she got picked up.
I am not a better, or worse person, just different!
If you see me crying, I will be okay, it’s just who I am. You don’t need to tell me to stop or change my feelings! No need to convince me that all will be okay. Don’t worry about trying to tell me of a positive outcome. Just let me be who I am!
Right now, I am going to be the person who takes her oldest to school, drops him off, and will shed tears while doing it!
So yeah, I’m sensitive, SO WHAT?
And NO, I am not crying all the time. I am a pretty happy person who just happens to wear my heart on my sleeve (most days).