I’m a Lucky Girl? – Truths and Myths of Being Self-Made

Definition of self-made. : made such by one’s own actions especially: having achieved success or prominence by one’s own efforts a self-made man.
Merriam-Webster

Lucky Girl? – Truths and Myths of a Self-Made Person

If you were to ask my kids what my biggest pet peeve is, they would probably say someone calling me lucky.  It’s not just the word but the context and how people say it….  😲 must be nice (nails on a chalkboard)!  It comes across like there is some magic fairy dust and they missed out.

You are so lucky?

• Was it lucky to have a season at home with the kids, when you scrimped and saved every last little bit including a moratorium on giving greeting cards, long hours, doing without, and doubling down on student loan payments? I was grateful, but it didn’t seem lucky especially when I took our son on a play date to McDonald’s and couldn’t purchase any food for him.
• Was it lucky to know how to do something, when you spent hours/days/years learning it?
• Was it lucky to go on a trip when there were many years without? Long hours worked, planning, and sticking to a budget is what went into that but not luck.

When a budget is as tight as a boa constrictor most years, when we finally do/get something it doesn’t feel lucky it felt like work.  The “lucky” statement seems to lack the understanding behind the choices and sacrifices made.

|You can read more about our finances and budget story HERE|

MYTHS:

Well, do you know what happens when you dig in your heals?  What happens to me is some LIFE LESSONS. 

It was just a quick picture on Instagram, and I started rethinking this pet peeve of mine. 

The picture was quite simply a town that writes the names of their graduating seniors on the streets where the students live. When the kids are on the bus that first day, there is a community of support and celebration just for them.

My first thought was, that is so sweet.  And then I thought, chances are those kids won’t even realize how important that was in their lives and how different it is for kids who don’t have that level of support throughout their lives. BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, that was an investment in who they are and will become.  

It started a path of thinking of all the things that made me who I am:

• My life was forever altered because my parents loved me, fed and changed me, didn’t do drugs, and so much more.  
• Yes, I was blessed to have a parent who taught me strong financial skills to know how to scrimp and save to do the things.
• I am lucky to have family that I can turn to in emergency situations.
• Pretty lucky that I have never had to worry about food or water!
• Yes, I have worked since I was 15 AND YET my father was the one that talked to the owner about hiring me when I was 15 because you had to be 16 to get a job.
• I was beyond blessed to have an affordable community college education which allowed me to pursue further education.
• What luck to be born in this country.
• And even though I paid for my higher education, I had scholarships, that were not on my merit, from my father being a pastor, and my brother’s church, which brought down my costs and student debt.

And that’s just the beginning:  

I could go on and on and on and on. So many blessings, that have been there, that I take for granted.

We see the realities of children born with drugs and/or alcohol, a glimmer of that story here.  Kids who have started in a dysfunctional family unit and now trying to deal with the effects of it…E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y.   When they are children, they had no say in it.  And now, they not only have to face each day’s challenges but they have a huge life, even brain, altering challenge(s) they have to recover from.

How lucky am I to of not had that situation?

I started to see more and more pictures, and posts, and life circumstances, all around, that really build us to who we are:

• Sport Leagues
• Help Obtaining a First Vehicle
• Personal Money Loan
• Community Programs and Support
• Skin Color/Gender
• Finances
• Parents Married
• Never Experienced a War
• Tutors
• Genetics
• Birthday Parties
• Natural Talent
• Parental Involvement
• Libraries
• Traveled
• Friends
• Never Heard Gun Shots Growing Up
• Regular Medical and Dental Access
• ETC, ETC, ETC

I thought “lucky” (must be nice) as something that didn’t focus on the sacrifices needed to get there.  Now, it’s different.  I see it crediting all the factors I had no control in…which are so many! My faith reminds me that I really do very little in this. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights. – James 1:17a

I have had many who have invested in me- some I know and some I don’t.  And as it turns out, I really am a LUCKY {BLESSED} GIRL.