Before the kids leave, how to keep building on your relationship before the empty nest marriage hits.
Show of hands:
How many of you know couples who have split or struggled after the kids leave the nest?
You spend so much time, energy, and focus on those little guys while they are under the roof and then poof they are gone.
And for those of you who have little ones around, believe us when we say ..POOF. It happens quicker than you think.
Our kids are not out of the house, and we are enjoying the time we have with them, BUT we are also realizing pretty soon it will just the two of us.
Recently we both had a rare day off together, no kids.
We took off and headed to the Oregon Coast.
It is so easy to find the very long laundry list, literally, of things to do.
We decided to pause instead.
To navigate new roads…like we will when they leave.
Chat about old times…while making new memories.
Walk arm and arm together…like we will continue to do into the future.
The key to marital satisfaction lies in how couples manage the decision-making process. -Phillip Cowan
Working on Your Marriage Before the Kids Leave:
- Check-in with your partner every day even for just a few minutes. Send a few texts, share some funny Facebook memes, ask about each other’s day.
- Make sure to schedule some time together. Write it on the calendar because it rarely drops in your lap.
- When a block of time does happen to fall in your lap, take advantage of it. That “To Do” list will ALWAYS be there. Take care of the absolute necessities, like paying your bills, and leave the rest, like dirty dishes. GO HAVE FUN!
- Simplicity – You don’t have to go on a trip, spend a lot of money, or have a whole day to devote to your relationship. Turn off the TV for an evening and read a book together, talk about old times, put on some music, play a board game, etc.
Take some time to “salvage” what you have.
It’s never too late!
Finally, we would also highly recommend seeing a therapist if you need more assistance. We have gone twice and it was helpful in getting more tools for handling tougher situations.
UPDATE – We have been married over 25 years now and it has been getting stronger each year. We have one son out of the home and one that is almost gone.
Would you like more ideas about salvaging moments?
Here are a few more posts we think you will enjoy:
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We are less than a year from the “empty nest”, but we are going to rock it! We have actually been getting closer these last 2 years since the youngest started driving. It frees up time for us again. It’s like you get to fall in Love all over again, because the two of you get lost in the kids. How amazing is that!
Deborah Sommerlot says
I know you will rock it Shannon! I totally agree it’s like dating all over again.