Your Facebook friend Courtney, from high school, has posted her fifth vacation of the year and you’ll be lucky if you end up with a weekend “staycation”.
You say it’s a staycation as it seems like it’s the in thing to do……but really you will be doing the same laundry, the same cooking, and looking at the same walls. But you might get to a museum in town, so it’s a STAYCATION.
Another friend is posting her beautifully decorated home, but all you see is the mountains of laundry…..hmmmm, maybe that could be used in a staycation post.
The nearby mountains were breathtaking.
Yeah, they were breathtaking alright!
“Jack, what is that smell?”
And let’s not even start on the what’s for dinner posts…..
“After work we decided to host a last minute impromptu dinner party.”
But the truth in media lets us in on the little secret, our lives aren’t so perfect after all……..
Why is it that some may only want to share the positive? Are they really trying to get people to believe they live awesome and wonderful lives, free of normal everyday troubles and cares?
You may read reasons like…. self obsessed, no connection to what others live like, perception, impressing others, to fit in, etc. And for some that maybe true, but I have come upon another reason that is less negative. It also might indicate, we the readers/friends might have to change how we respond to our friend’s posts.
Recently, our family has gone through two, to us, major issues……and several small ones. I personally try to be open because I have never wanted anyone to think our life is free of troubles (although don’t think anyone would).
Is it easy to share?
NO, it is not!
It’s raw and vulnerable and hard.
And even though I have prefaced my personal social media posts that I know there is hope, it never fails, some people can’t help themselves ………
- Look up/Cheer up (cue Annie…The sun will come out, tomorrow…)
- Trust in God more (Bible verse six shooter is locked and loaded)
- It will get better (but what if it gets worse?)
- It could be worse (to who?)
Pretty much all the items on the what not to say to a person when someone is hurting list.
Do you know I took a leap to share this, possibly ask for prayer, and maybe ask for help? I am completely vulnerable, wounded, in pain, and in desperate need of comfort.
For that person, no matter what the situation, this is a difficult time if they say it is.
Maybe this is their first experience with difficulties. Yes, this might be just the beginning of challenges for them, BUT they will see that in their own time. Yes, their pain might improve in the morning, but right now is not the morning.
A Time for Everything – Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
Should someone tell a person with brain cancer, It could be worse?
There is no book that says, if one looses a child you don’t have to explain to them the silver lining, but if one’s house burns down, they should be thankful no one was hurt. Let’s not talk about how they had a headache and didn’t have any medicine to take as everything burned and that’s just another thing they need to replace and haven’t yet. Or that their beloved pet died. Or they lost all their family pictures.
So MAYBE the reason our friends tend to show us the “highlight reel” is due to the struggle to share that deep sorrow, of the moment, pain. The depths of tears that are being shed. Finding the right words to convey the agony of the heart so that it comes across in the right way. It’s hard enough to share pain with people we know, but a whole different animal sharing it with our large number of acquaintances all over social media.
The next time you see a post from a friend that is about their hard day applaud their COURAGE by~
- Giving a virtual hug!
- Let them know you will pray for them and PRAY with them.
- If someone is asking for help, decide if you are called to help. Once I saw a meme regarding moms. It was indicating, instead of telling a mom to enjoy her crying newborn baby because one day they will grow up to fast … take her a meal, do a load of laundry, etc. Advise is cheap but help is golden.
- Express sorrow that they are sad.
- If you aren’t feeling sad for them, for whatever reason, just scroll on by.
- Unless they ask for advise, leave the lessons at the door.
- If you can relate, do so, but not the “I had the same thing happen and all is good now.” speech.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
AND there are a lot of posts, that aren’t based in pain, but still feel vulnerable…
- Sharing pics of a kitchen remodel
- Posting a child’s music performance
- Your new to you table
- A business venture
- A craft project or new skill
- Or a messy house
The list could go on and on, right? Social media, for many of us, can be an open door to criticism.
“If you can’t stand the heat, don’t post.”
But I will lay down a challenge:
If your find yourself cautious in sharing, you may not be able to control what others say, but you will find many out who will say…….
You too? I thought I was alone.
You can build amazing relationships in that place of vulnerability. I have met so many people (friends) through my personal cries of pain.
Finally, If you tend to give advise, want to guide, or share the silver lining, I would ask that you take a breathe before typing……It tends to give us a new perspective.
*If you are new to this site, it’s all about making the most with what you have. Most posts involved reuse, repurpose, waste not/want not, and upcycle. This post is all about salvaging moments in life.